I Stand Outside This Woman’s Work
& watch Kevin Bacon conjure fake tears in a Real Hallway
& I am Real Tears in a fake hallway
& “Procreation is gross though”
I’m nine & a half, watching “The Miracle
of Life” on my mother’s bed
Stirring my shells & cheese
I see that Big ’70s Bush split in twain!
I drop my spoon
Surely, I am not this Bloody Meat
I march down to the kitchen
& make an announcement:
“I am never having a baby!”
My mother takes me to a Sunday
matinee of She’s Having a Baby
In the dark, we share a giant pickle
in wax paper & weep openly
for Poor Kevin Bacon
There’s been a complication with the birth
& Kate Bush croons
“Ooh, it’s hard on the man, now his part is over. . .”
In line to buy the soundtrack at Sam Goody
my mother tells me a secret—
“Women who don’t give birth
tend to get cancer.”
Everything begins to split:
or the pregnant calico
or the way I learn my left
how sometimes at night
teacher hovers over my bed
marker & keeps score
Suck it in, suck it up
unseamed by coyotes
splits before my right
my dead dance
with a black magic
on my headboard
she hisses & squints
starring impossible people
leading Double Lives
from the ’6os
in Twin Beds
& none of them
whispering double
seem to be
entendres into a Princess phone
pond scum cells shimmer
& for god’s sake mitose
Something wicked falls
sideways from my mouth “Why don’t you have
your own grandkids then?”
This is more or less what my mother does
but not without complications—
What an awkward sort of sadness to wait out in the hallway
with Poor Kevin Bacon
while Birth & Death sing their biggest hits
without you