i’m evolving from sadtrans to joytrans & g-d is my pokémon trainer

i only expect i will have a final form by the circumstance of my being

perishable when i enter a room my brain calculates how many ppl might be clocking me & how

i am trying to let wonder & uncertainty dom me every day

sometimes i’m feral napcore audhd hyporheic cloudleaf unmasked pilled

tbh i’m not even trans i’m a sheaf of blessings that makes a soft noise when you strum it

when we trace back our wound to root it becomes unwound it mutates into grace

catch me divinizing the quotidian by becoming obsessed w this river-smoothed stone i found

i fully expect a mycelial network to fall in love w me for some reason

my/your face a coven of we a listening beyond the comprehensible

it is not enough to love the earth i must merge my body w hers entirely

i’m like if love were a kind of esoteric circle that exploded every six months & was also a woman

looking back i’m jealous all my bullies insisted i was a girl before i did

the word bad comes from the old english bæddel meaning hermaphrodite (pejorative)

attention is the beginning of devotion is something mary oliver said

my body being stored within the word bad is a form of devotion

my attention is both deficient & hyperactive i.e. i am touchingfeeling everything constant

devotion is the practice of belonging is something the earth cosplaying as me said 

as a joytrans my special pokèmon moves are witness & surrender

i think i am just trying to have a nice day most of the time but i am open to bæddel days too

the coolest thing ab me is probably when you google my name

you are met only w flowers