Dead Girl Gang Bang

Though I can’t recall your last name

now, Howie, I’ve been penciling myself in

to your way back then, way back

when, in your gangbangland, she was

loose and gone, struggling up on a limb

to raise herself off from your bed, but lost,

fell back, let the all of you in again. Said

just trying to get out your room

was no use since she’d got her own

self in. Curbside-mind, I venture

you are still alive. Wondering what she’d

think of that, but, then, I don’t

know, can a ghost think when its body’s shot

itself in the head? Hell, just thinking about

it makes me wish I were dead. Just

some girl, you, then you letting your friends

shovel their coal-selves up into her, just some

person. I knew. Her mother’s now offering

a twenty-percent discount for crystal

healing therapy on her website. In high school,

she was a calm mother, dull job as telephone

operator, back in that town her dead

daughter and I always swore we

would leave, back in that town dead to me,

and me, I marry a man who mocks

me for crying. We-we-we, he calls out,

snickering in the gloom. Yet still I wear the dead

girl’s perfume. And I’ve got an accident

to report. Because it was all our centers,

uninvited, you rucked up inside, then bade your

friends park their reeking selves in the garage

of her feminine. What did you call it

back then? You balding fuck, you’ve forgot.

Sloppy seconds. Forgot her slippage, eyes dead

drunk spirals, face some fluid spilling down

your sheets. I’ve been where she’s been,

and I can be where you are now, switch my hips,

sashay into your office to see you any day now,

wearing her perfume. What pack animal

would you choose to be in your next life?

Every day, the marsupial clouds grow

hungrier for our reunion, the reunion I’ve been

packing for all my life. There is a swing set

and a girl in a dress who doesn’t know about this

next. First, she’s pretty. Finally, she’s done for.

So I took some pills to forget I knew you last

as friend. Then I learned the ways of your wiles,

how you did my girl who’s now dead in.

Source: Poetry (February 2015)