Tenderness

Yes, I was jealous when you threw the glass.

I wanted the shattering against the wood-paneled floor for myself,

to be the sudden diaspora of its pieces across the apartment — and last night

when we fought, I wanted you to hit me so badly I begged.

And the other day walking past Renewal-on-the-Bowery,

when one of the men smoking unsteadily outside

called me a faggot, I thought: Good. People get what they deserve.

Then I wished I were more like Jesus — capable of loving

all people and all things always, capable of nothing

but love. I waste half my wishes this way,

wishing to be virtuous. The rest, well,

I don’t have to tell you, do I?