Blue

when I was young, I wanted to name paint samples.

             varieties of blue like whispering night air, tragic

lake. whites like echoing eggshell,

             memory of light. yellow like nervous blossom,

hay in afternoon sun. purple like shivering mountain

             laurel or green like air after rain.

it’s said light blue

             will keep birds from building—

they believe it’s the sky.

             but how could anyone not want to live in the sky?

even mud daubers

             won’t create their clay pots

on anywhere colored like flight.

             disney paints buildings they want to hide

in bye-bye blue—

             the same color as the eyes

of boys who knew how to love me

if only I blended in

             with their hands. when I was young,

I painted my room blue hydrangea—

             “dare” by the gorillaz played on my indigo radio

& now when the song comes on

             as I’m driving my white car on the dusty backroads,

I remember the smell of paint

             & summer light. my old flame-

point cat lying on the clear paint tarp.

all those places I missed—

             I wouldn’t notice until years later.