Phantom Pain Wings

Bird in high heels

walks on asphalt, crying

Mascara drips down

My night feathers are infinitely, infinitely large

Critics tell me,

Condolences are for us

You’re too filthy for them

I keep dreaming the same dream

It has the face of a human but

is a bird when it stretches out its limbs

I told you not to cut me off

I keep dreaming the same dream

Inside my bone

bird’s transparent pathway

Behind my sunglasses

two black beans on a silver platter

(Can you read dreams with those two beans?)

I can’t take any calls at the moment because I’m having a meal

I eat as I walk

I lift my head as I walk

I shit blood as I walk

Its name? Bird

That bird with glass stuck to its abdomen

Bird is chased by wind

Maybe it has sand feathers?

Homeless bird

its tiny shoulders

Bird sticks to glass then vanishes

To be honest, I walk because my armpits flutter

I walk because I’m ashamed of my huge wings

I walk because my bird house is smaller than me

When it rains my soaked hands are infinitely, infinitely large

Bird was on its way to die, to hide

The second it turns around to look at me

it chirps, This is Seoul!

There’s no place for me to hide here!

Please push me off the cliff!

Bird swirls in the air like a lonely gaze

Critics say,

Safety can’t be guaranteed

We’ll hit you when you come in

Bird replies, Please stop talking about me!

Bird is up in the air

after being flung onto the ground

Honestly, this isn’t the sound of rain

It’s the sound of my high heels pounding the asphalt

Tonight, there’s no place for me

to hide except in this bathroom

I’m calmed by the sound of

water streaming from the faucet

I mourn in here

My hand trembles

as I curl up my eyelashes with mascara as if lifting up my black wings

The sound of rain hitting the tiles pushes me off the deep end

Tonight, there’s no place for me to put down my poem

Notes:

Read the Korean-language version, "날개 환상통."

Doing Poetry